I wouldn’t even consider the thought of it if I was home, but here, on the ship, after 2 months of being single, the idea is appealing to me. So what’s the story about? Oh well, lets start with the beginning.
Last contract I met this fun, nice looking guy who, to my surprise, was single. Lets call him JOE. Single here usually means that you don’t have to avoid each other, you can go out for a coffee or lunch and in the evening you can have a few drinks and go to sleep together, without being afraid you’re going to be seen by someone. What a wonderful idea! So we get together by the time I was suppose to go home. I left thinking everything is ok and we can pick it up again from where we left it when he and I come back from vacation. So 4 months pass, I come back, he comes back, first night we get together and everything was wonderful, until next day. I was expecting him to call me in the evening, but nothing happened. One more day passes and he says he’s going to sleep. He did, again without calling me. I began to get upset. “What the hell did I do this time?” I asked myself because he was acting like he was upset. So, after a week, I decide we should talk. My God, what a disappointment! Turns out that he only wants casual sex and he likes to sleep alone and his focus is on his work (like it isn’t mine too!). Basically, he wants sex, but doesn’t want to give nothing in return.
On the other hand, this handsome, intelligent man is hunting me since the day I came onboard. ALEX invited me for dinner, for drinks, every time he sees me in the hallways he stops and talks to me, but he has one big disadvantage: he’s married and has 3 kids. I know him since last contract too and he straightforward told me back then that he’s married but looking for someone to spend his free time while onboard. At that time I said no, this contract I don’t know anymore.
So, after the discussion I had with JOE, I got so upset I went straight to ALEX looking for someone to hug me I ended up sleeping with him. He took me in his arms and slept with me and in the morning I was smiling again. He called me again in the afternoon, then again in the evening inviting me over. He really makes me feel special and because he’s European like me, we have many things in common.
So now the big question that I am asking you, the reader, is… Would you prefer to date a single man who only wants sex and gives you no attention whatsoever or a married man who give his whole attention and free time to you, who takes time to go with you for dinner, to go out for a coffee or just sit and watch TV with a glass of wine? Just remember you're in the middle of the sea, not at home. Since I am not planning to take any of them home, right now I am really considering continuing to see ALEX. I deal with jerks all day at my workplace, I don’t need one more in my bed and definitely I wouldn’t say no to a big smile on my face every morning if you get my idea!
I’ve changed so much since I first stepped on this ship. Many of my beliefs shifted just like the one about dating married men. I work all day, I focus on my job trying to get higher in the hierarchy, I go to the gym and study for the exam I have in about two weeks and I really don’t have time to waste on idiots who think casual sex is the way to relax. I need some good loving at the end of the day and a pair of arms wrapped around me. That’s all I need right now!
Labels: friends, love, ship life |
Hi Oana,
Well.... euh.. WOW !!! What can I say... !!! First, I'm really sorry that your relationship had turn that way. I don't know of it's the 4 months delay that change him or something else. But it's clear to me that he don't deserve you. I know I'm writing all this considering I'm in shore.
But still, I do think you deserve better. The first thing I would say to you is : What your inside is telling you. Surely, you'll not be passing the rest of your life with a guy who wants sex. And I'm sure you'll only get hurt at the end.
For the second guy, the married man, it's nice to know that he told you from the beginning that he's married. Because I remember one blog you wrote about relationship when you got burn with a maried man and you didn't know. And I recall that you didn't like to be in that situation also. And in that situation, I can imagine that it will end up nowhere if you go to far with him.
So in my point of vue, it's a no win situation with those two. But if you want somebody to hang with, I think it's better to find someone who will make you good about yourself without changing you values and what you believe in. Maybe it's better to wait for another person. But if you want to hang out with the married man, ( since in the looks of things, help you forget about the other person ) just remember your limits ( what your allowing or not... )
Well that's what I say. But I really think that it would be better to wait for another single guy if you want to sleep with someone. Like you said, you don't have to hide it.
It's strange that the life at sea change you that much. Well I'm sure you know a bit more about yourself and what your searching for another person. But also, I can see that a lot of things people allowed themselve since they are away from home.
I realize that it's not a easy job to be on a cruise ship... And still it looks exciting... You're doing great don't give up.
Beetho.